The much too long headline
Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2025 10:45 am
Does anyone know what that is? Senior… what is the reason to communicate that? And what is meant by 'Online'? That is very broad. Is this woman helping Bol.com or another big giant to improve the sales page of white goods?
And what is a consultant anyway? Yes, I am not from yesterday, it is someone who gives advice. But what kind of advice? To farmers? Or to school leaders? To entrepreneurs on the red light district? And what is the advice about?
I'm serious. I have no idea about this job description/headline, and that's essential. Because you have to imagine: people are scrolling very quickly (and especially very lazily) through LinkedIn . And you want the people who are relevant to you to stop scrolling.
How? Say literally what you do.
Look, a hairdresser or nail stylist doesn't have to do this, because we all know exactly what that is. Even a six-year-old knows what a hairdresser does. If you are an advisor or expert, or a 'Senior Online Consultant', you have to help people a little.
For example, write: I help municipalities to easily maintain their social media .
2. The super creative headline with a twist!
For example: I'm a number magician . Huh?
I also saw someone who was a 'Language Acrobat'. What? I advise against it all.
This reminds me of one of the most fascinating and true copy tips:
Always choose clear over clever.
Anyone who knows me a little knows that I am crazy about creativity and originality. Even better: originality. Beautiful. But it is even more important in your copy that people understand you immediately. People have to understand what you do. (And there are always exceptions to the rule, see the end of this piece.)
3. The nuanced headline
Experienced (DRA accredited!) trainer in advisory skills.
Hardworking (international) independent virtual assistant.
It's the 'in brackets' that bothers me. That nuance in the headline. Too much and really not necessary.
I understand of course: you want people who come by to understand that you are 'DBA recognized' or work 'internationally', because you want to maximize the chance that you grab someone's attention! And you are terrified that people will not understand you. You want to be complete.
(This also reminds me of the profiles on Tinder: 'I love hiking in the mountains from early morning till late at night, preferably barefoot, without water and food, but… I also really like couch surfing!!')
Leave out the nuance, that can be done later: the headline is meant to grab the first attention. So keep it job function email database short and simple.
Public Speaker in Personal Growth / Leadership – Presentor at Eindbaas – Entrepreneur & Adventurer .
Does this headline completely collapse if you remove 'adventurer'? No, right? Here's another example:
Digital enthusiast, bringer of insider tips. Google Ads expert. Closing the loop between marketing & sales .
And what is that? 'Bringer of inside shots'?
Then the next one, also extremely long:
Retention expert for fitness centers/gyms Ꚙ I help you make customer/employee relationships more fun for more member retention Ꚙ Speaker/Trainer/Columnist .
What if you make it this? I help gyms retain all those great members . If I were a gym owner, chances are pretty good that I would stop scrolling, right?
This may be the longest I've found. Also note 'Multidisciplinary'.
And what is a consultant anyway? Yes, I am not from yesterday, it is someone who gives advice. But what kind of advice? To farmers? Or to school leaders? To entrepreneurs on the red light district? And what is the advice about?
I'm serious. I have no idea about this job description/headline, and that's essential. Because you have to imagine: people are scrolling very quickly (and especially very lazily) through LinkedIn . And you want the people who are relevant to you to stop scrolling.
How? Say literally what you do.
Look, a hairdresser or nail stylist doesn't have to do this, because we all know exactly what that is. Even a six-year-old knows what a hairdresser does. If you are an advisor or expert, or a 'Senior Online Consultant', you have to help people a little.
For example, write: I help municipalities to easily maintain their social media .
2. The super creative headline with a twist!
For example: I'm a number magician . Huh?
I also saw someone who was a 'Language Acrobat'. What? I advise against it all.
This reminds me of one of the most fascinating and true copy tips:
Always choose clear over clever.
Anyone who knows me a little knows that I am crazy about creativity and originality. Even better: originality. Beautiful. But it is even more important in your copy that people understand you immediately. People have to understand what you do. (And there are always exceptions to the rule, see the end of this piece.)
3. The nuanced headline
Experienced (DRA accredited!) trainer in advisory skills.
Hardworking (international) independent virtual assistant.
It's the 'in brackets' that bothers me. That nuance in the headline. Too much and really not necessary.
I understand of course: you want people who come by to understand that you are 'DBA recognized' or work 'internationally', because you want to maximize the chance that you grab someone's attention! And you are terrified that people will not understand you. You want to be complete.
(This also reminds me of the profiles on Tinder: 'I love hiking in the mountains from early morning till late at night, preferably barefoot, without water and food, but… I also really like couch surfing!!')
Leave out the nuance, that can be done later: the headline is meant to grab the first attention. So keep it job function email database short and simple.
Public Speaker in Personal Growth / Leadership – Presentor at Eindbaas – Entrepreneur & Adventurer .
Does this headline completely collapse if you remove 'adventurer'? No, right? Here's another example:
Digital enthusiast, bringer of insider tips. Google Ads expert. Closing the loop between marketing & sales .
And what is that? 'Bringer of inside shots'?
Then the next one, also extremely long:
Retention expert for fitness centers/gyms Ꚙ I help you make customer/employee relationships more fun for more member retention Ꚙ Speaker/Trainer/Columnist .
What if you make it this? I help gyms retain all those great members . If I were a gym owner, chances are pretty good that I would stop scrolling, right?
This may be the longest I've found. Also note 'Multidisciplinary'.