I Use Instagram DMs, Not Phone Numbers
Posted: Tue May 27, 2025 4:21 am
If you ask someone from Gen Z how they keep in touch with friends, you’re more likely to hear “Instagram DMs” than get a phone number. For many of us, the idea of giving out a phone number feels outdated, even unnecessary. Social media has become the new address book—and Instagram DMs are the front door. Why bother with a phone number when DMs let you text, share memes, video call, and react to messages—all in one place? On Instagram, conversations don’t feel stiff or formal. It’s fast, visual, and integrated into how we already engage with the world. And unlike texting, DMs are tied to your social presence. If I meet someone cool at a concert or event, I don’t say “What’s your number?”—I ask, “What’s your IG?”
This shift isn’t just about convenience; it’s about special database culture. Instagram DMs are more dynamic than phone texts. I can send voice notes, photos, reels, or links without switching apps. I can see when someone’s active, if they’ve read my message, or if we have mutuals—all helpful context for how I communicate. Group chats feel more alive here, too—between reactions, disappearing messages, and video calls, DMs feel like a digital hangout spot rather than a communication tool. Even for things like flirting, networking, or sharing content, DMs have replaced the awkwardness of cold texts. Plus, phone numbers feel static, tied to contracts and plans, while IG handles are part of a more fluid online identity. I can change my username, use a burner account, or go private—more options, more control.
Some might argue that not using phone numbers makes us less reachable or less professional—but that’s missing the point. We’re not anti-connection; we’re just selective about it. Using DMs lets me set boundaries—there’s no expectation to always be “on” or immediately responsive. And from a practical standpoint, this approach saves money. A lot of us don’t even have full-blown phone plans. We use Wi-Fi, data when available, and apps for everything else. Between Instagram, WhatsApp, Snapchat, and Discord, there’s no shortage of ways to communicate. So no, I don’t give out my number—I give out my IG. It says more about who I am, how I connect, and what I value in a conversation. Phone numbers may have worked for earlier generations, but for Gen Z, the DM is the new dial tone.
This shift isn’t just about convenience; it’s about special database culture. Instagram DMs are more dynamic than phone texts. I can send voice notes, photos, reels, or links without switching apps. I can see when someone’s active, if they’ve read my message, or if we have mutuals—all helpful context for how I communicate. Group chats feel more alive here, too—between reactions, disappearing messages, and video calls, DMs feel like a digital hangout spot rather than a communication tool. Even for things like flirting, networking, or sharing content, DMs have replaced the awkwardness of cold texts. Plus, phone numbers feel static, tied to contracts and plans, while IG handles are part of a more fluid online identity. I can change my username, use a burner account, or go private—more options, more control.
Some might argue that not using phone numbers makes us less reachable or less professional—but that’s missing the point. We’re not anti-connection; we’re just selective about it. Using DMs lets me set boundaries—there’s no expectation to always be “on” or immediately responsive. And from a practical standpoint, this approach saves money. A lot of us don’t even have full-blown phone plans. We use Wi-Fi, data when available, and apps for everything else. Between Instagram, WhatsApp, Snapchat, and Discord, there’s no shortage of ways to communicate. So no, I don’t give out my number—I give out my IG. It says more about who I am, how I connect, and what I value in a conversation. Phone numbers may have worked for earlier generations, but for Gen Z, the DM is the new dial tone.